Guest Post – Risa Nye, co-author of “Writin’ on Empty,” a Survival Guide by and for Empty Nest Parents

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I have a guest post today by Risa Nye, co-author of Writin’ on Empty. She’s looking for essays by parents about the empty nest. If you’re a writer/blogger, here’s a chance to be part of an upcoming anthology. Share your experiences with Risa.

Our book, Writin’ on Empty, has three mothers. Make that two mothers and a midwife: Joan, Julie, and me.

Here’s our story: Back in 2004, Julie came up with the idea of getting parents together for an ongoing empty nester discussion group. She’d had a tough time adjusting when her one and only daughter flew east to start college, and wanted to reach out for support. Joan joined Julie’s group during the first few difficult months after her only daughter left for school in the Midwest. They soon realized that sharing stories from the discussion group might help other parents going through the same emotional upheaval. The “aha moment” came when they thought of collecting these stories into a book.

Joan and I had been friends for many years. She knew I’d self-published and had been writing for a while, plus I’d sent three kids off to college. I met with Joan and Julie one evening, and we started talking in earnest about a book. So, as I like to say, I came on board as a midwife—just in time to yell “push!”—and helped usher this book into the world.

We each wrote our own stories. I wrote about living in the house of boys after my daughter left; about how it felt to have only one kid around for five years; and what it was like to be back to two after 26 years of on-duty parenting. We asked friends, neighbors, local writers—and people we didn’t know—to write. When we read a column or an article we liked, we wrote and asked permission to include it (and paid the permission fees when necessary). Eventually, by sending out a call for submissions on Craigslist and cajoling everyone we could think of, we gathered enough essays to make a healthy-size anthology.

Had we only known to look at blogs. . .

In 2006, we wrote a book proposal. We combed over lists of agents and publishers online. We emailed. We sent out stacks of envelopes containing carefully drafted cover letters and included a SASE. We kept a spread sheet.
As any writer knows, when you receive an envelope addressed to yourself in your own handwriting, it’s almost never good news. To make a year-long story short, we struck out. We did get some encouraging comments on a few form rejection letters, but no still meant no.

Then the three of us went to a local watering hole for a do-or-die brainstorming session. We started riffing on the idea of “empty” on a cocktail napkin, which is how we came up with the title for our book. Once we said it out loud, we knew it was right. Jumping on the extra-long subtitle bandwagon, we added one that laid it out: Parents Reveal the Upside, Downside, and Everything in Between When Children Leave the Nest. And then we decided to publish it ourselves.

I’d learned about Lulu in a publishing workshop at a writers’ conference. We liked the set-up, and went with Lulu’s print-on-demand and distribution plans. This is when the learning curve spiked upward. In the months that followed, we needed to get the layout done, get the covers designed, line up blurbs, and get a proofreader. We got lucky with everyone we worked with, but couldn’t avoid a few hiccups.
We held the first copies in our hands in May of 2008, and are happy about the number that have sold.
But now, four years later, we’re ready to go another round. We’d like to hear from parents about how it’s going in the world of empty nesters these days. Social networking and technology are true game changers for parents and their college-age kids. It’s easier to stay in touch and harder to let go.

We know there are some great stories to share out there. Kids leave every fall, and the cycle starts all over again.
So how about it? Let us hear from you!

Risa Nye

Email: Editors@writinonempty.com

www.writinonempty.com
About.com 2012 Readers’ Choice award: Best survival guide for parents of college kids