A hot (no pun intended) topic among my midlife friends is insomnia, which seems to go hand-in-hand with hot flashes, headaches, irritability, weight gain…oh yea, that’s called perimenopause.
But the insomnia, that seems to be the most debilitating of all of the symptoms. I recently had a conversation with some of my virtual (but very real) friends about sleep, and it went something like this:
“I can’t sleep. I play Words with Friends at 2 a.m.”
“I fall asleep and then wake up soaked with sweat. I have to turn the air down to 52 degrees to cool off”
“If I don’t have a glass of wine or two, I can’t sleep at all.”
“If I don’t take and Ambien, I can’t sleep at all.”
and the worst of all:
“Once I’m up, my mind starts racing, and I never fall back to sleep.”
So what is that keeps me up at night, on those nights when I wake up, wide awake, at 1:43, or 2:17? Or worst of all, 4:30 – because if I wake up at 4:30, I’m for sure not going back to sleep.
Well, there’s these things:
-Money worries
-What fatal illness I must have that’s keeping me awake
-What fatal illness I must have that makes me so tired all day (ummm, could be the not sleeping at night?)
-What to make for dinner tomorrow – I mean, today
-Where I put….something I can’t find
-Why I made that bad choice in 1986
-Why I said that stupid thing in 1992
-Why I shouldn’t have had so much to drink at that party in 1997
-What it would be like if I lived in (insert city or state here)
-All the people I used to know who I don’t know anymore
-Whether all the people I used to know that I don’t know anymore ever think about me
Then there’s these things:
-All the books in my stack that I want to read
-The phone call I forgot to return (oh shit)
-The dentist/gyno/eye doctor appointment I need to make
-Whether my son will get hurt playing football
-Whether my kids are happy
-Whether my husband is happy
-What does it really mean to be happy
-Is happiness an illusion
-Is it all an illusion
-Or maybe a delusion
Well, you get the picture.
In the dark, in the middle of the night, I think about things that don’t even cross my mind during the day. I lie in bed, listening to my darling husband snoring, my adorable dog scratching and snuffling, and at least I know this – I’m safe and sound.
Still, a good night’s sleep would be nice.
Full disclosure, I make my living selling to women who have night sweats. So if you were sleeping well but the drenching night sweats woke you up, my moisture wicking sleepwear will help. Our orders come in online regularly at 2 or 3AM, no surprise, women are up and shopping!
I believe in drugs for sleeping.I use Lunesta. I am hooked, but I am well rested so it is a trade off. I can get up at 4 AM go to the bathroom and fall back to sleep! Anyone under 45 reading that statement would think me a crazy lady, but I know you and many of your readers understand this with awe!
Haralee recently posted..Welcome
I bet you’re company is pretty busy! I love that the orders come in at 2 or 3 am – so funny but so sad, too!
Oh, my God. I have been struggling with this more than ever the past year or two or three. It’s just like you said – you start thinking about things you don’t even think of during the day – and boom you are up all friggin’ night long. I think I need therapy!!!!! Sleeping aids make me hung over the next day, and half the time they don’t even work. What do you know about Ambien? I’ve never tried…but fear getting hooked on prescription drugs and ending up on some television show with family around, pushing me into rehab.
Pam Houghton recently posted..Picture perfect advice
The only time I took Ambien was on a flight from Los Angeles to London, and I didn’t sleep at all. The only medication that helps me is Xanax.
Insomnia is the pits. Even when I do sleep, unfortunately thanks to Ambien (yes I do have snacks that I don’t remember the next day) I have such busy, detailed dreams that I don’t feel rested. It’s sad because I used to be the best sleeper. The cumulative build-up of lack of sleep is awful. Really looking forward to outgrowing this “stage.” I hope.
Melanie recently posted..Playing the Fool, Being Un-cool, Comma Splices, & Teddy Pendergrass
I’m sure we’ll all outgrow it, someday!
Ay-MEN!!
OMG I wrote a post on same subject today and included a few strategies that you might be interested in. bit.ly/Sw9YlN
I’m right there with you and have been for a few years. My hope is that retirement will make it easier because I won’t be laying there thinking about how long it is until I have to get up and go to work. One less thing to fret about!
Yes..I am the 52 degree girl and the one who wakes at 1:43, 2:17 and 4:30..
Great post !! Sharon this is my life now..for sure !!
You inspired me, dearest!
The real reason your up all night is the fact that your husband can’t control his excess gas urges!
That doesn’t help…but I’ve heard you’re much worse
Sharon,
I feel like you must be living in my bedroom!!!
One night is 2:30am the next 4:30am….then I fall asleep only to have to still get up at the same time..without much sleep. So the next night even though I am so tired I still can’t sleep so then I take something.
So I feel that some mornings I am the walking dead-sleep deprived or the other mornings I walk around out of it…with a sleeping pill hangover.
I am not sure it helps knowing that I am not in this alone? I just wouldn’t want to wish this on anyone!!
Another great piece Sharon!!!
Thanks PK! I feel like there’s a lot of us wandering around in the middle of the night…
Hear hear!
A good night’s sleep would definitely be nice. But that would require less stress. Ain’t happenin’…
BigLittleWolf recently posted..Worried Sick
And the stress of not sleeping makes it more difficult to relax and go to sleep…it’s a vicious circle.
I have insomnia, too. I know it’s hormonal, because I always had it for the two nights right before I’d start. Now it is more nights than not. My dog has health issues, and sometimes needs to go out at night, so I tell myself that the insomnia at least allows me to hear the quiet pawing at the door instead of stepping in a wet spot the next morning.
Ginger Kay recently posted..Growing Up, Moving Away
Insomnia doesn’t find me often…but hot flashes are a definite sleep-kill. So many times, I’ve had to get up, shower, change sheets and start over–only to discover my body going through another round. It is SO not fair. Other than that–I dream to escape all my other problems
Great post!! Cheers, Jenn.
Jenn recently posted..If Only
Insomnia is my middle name. The first episode happened at a relatives house while visiting and I had no idea what was happening. Toss and turn like the dryer is what I do now. I make deals with myself about what time I should get up/give up, and make coffee and face the day – oh, I mean night. It goes like this: If I don’t fall asleep by 2 a.m. I will get up, if I don’t fall asleep by 2:30 a.m. I will get up, okay I will give it to 3 a.m. then I will get up. Love your list of nonstop worries and I am glad to know I am not alone and not crazy.
sue recently posted..Luxury Laguna Beach Dream House
Wow, I didn’t realize I belonged to a sisterhood of the SAME ISSUES!!! I laughed at your post because I thought you must have had a camera going in my house, but then from all the other comments, decided I AM NOT ALONE!! Except at 1 a.m. when my husband has been asleep for hours…….. We need to start a chat room (if that is something that is still around) for this so at least we have company as we sit and wait for sleep or daylight, which ever comes first!
Try Words with Friends – some of my friends swear by it!
That’s brutal. I am exhausted reading your list. Yes, a good night’s sleep is needed. I hate when I am awake at 1, 2, 4:33… What wakes me is a story I have to finish or one I need to start. The fatal illness one is a killer. Wishing your body gives you a break very very soon.
Brenda recently posted..When You Wish Upon A Star
That’s brutal. I am exhausted reading your list. Yes, a good night’s sleep is needed. I hate when I am awake at 1, 2, 4:33… What wakes me is a story I have to finish or one I need to start. The fatal illness one is a killer. Wishing your body gives you a break very very soon. hang tight.
Brenda recently posted..When You Wish Upon A Star
To be clear, I don’t necessarily think about all of it in one night…or maybe I do!